Dreaming Lens: Were you breaking up with someone? Were they breaking up with you? Was it in person or on the phone? Was it a marriage, or was it a more casual relationship? Was it painful?
Personal Focus: When two people are joined as an intimate couple, the way they identify with each other psychologically is the glue that holds them together. It is almost as if their individual sense of wholeness depends on how each partner lives inside the psyche of the other as a projected “other half.” When a breakup occurs, each person moves on to their next expression of Self. Neither will be quite the same for having connected.
In a dream, one party (or both, if neither of the couple breaking up is the dreamer) represents a Character Aspect of the dreamer that is being sacrificed in the cycle of death and rebirth in order to make way for a new way of being. While this can hurt intensely, letting someone go is an intrinsic part of growing and expanding our self-identity as we mature, and a necessary step in the evolution of the human psyche.
Viewed in this light, a breakup in a dream signals that this crucial process is underway. People frequently dream of the partner they have parted with in life while grieving the loss. The symbolic meaning of the ex in a dream connects to the qualities in the dreamer that were most brought out by them. If a breakup is occurring to a couple in the dream that is not you, then the Character Aspects represented by one or both of them will provide clues for the qualities that are being discarded, or need to be let go of.
Violence or conflict surrounding a breakup may illuminate elevated levels of resistance or perhaps higher emotional stakes. Consoling someone after a breakup may point to being further along in the process of change. Advising someone or seeking advice around the issue of a breakup (convincing or being convinced as well) could represent an unconscious attempt to battle resistance to change. The varying levels of emotional content in such a dream will reveal the depth of the shift that is taking place.